mixed emotions

i'm like a cocktail of emotions just floating around. different ones keep floating to the surface. i have a really good night, a laugh with friends and i feel like life couldn't get better.
but then the next day is like the biggest anticlimax. I start to think about all the things i want to do and all the stupid obsticles that keep popping up. money being the main one i suppose. Can't go to university yet, can't travel spontaneously because i have to apply for visas for each place i want to go. i mean what exactly does that leave for the right here, right now. elbow-greased-hard-work :/ great

or i'll be on facebook and i'll see a picture of my friends in SA and i can see exactly where i would be standing. It's not even that i want their lives to stand still but sometimes i wonder what my life would be like if i stayed. of course i love my life here, it's different so i suppose there's no comparison.

life is so confusing sometimes, really. God send down someone to point which way i'm meant to be going please, thanks, much appreciated.

Kez*